I was talking to my friend Holly the other night about growing older and dreams and regrets. Holly and I have been friends since were 15 and are now in our mid-40s. Both of us are only just starting to figure out how to attain the things we’ve dreamed of our entire lives and, although we are pursuing it, the self-doubt and the self-hate chases behind.
Am I too old? Is it too late? Why didn’t I do this before? Why did it take me so long to figure all this out? Is it worth it at this point in my life?
Am I too old?
I’ve literally been asking myself this question about decisions for the past 10 years, and I wouldn’t be where I am today if I had ever considered the answer “yes.” The best thing my mother ever told me was this, “You are going to be xyz years old anyway. Why not be there with whatever it is you want to achieve as well?” I tell myself this all the time when I question my age.
Is it too late?
The only time it will be too late to do something is when I’m in my grave. Yes, naturally, there are things that it may be too late to do in a traditional sense – such as having a biological child for a woman. But it may not be too late to get a child some other way at any age. There are no obstacles except the ones we place on ourselves. If we are open-minded and creative about achieving our dreams, anything truly is possible. Sometimes you just have to step outside the box you may have built yourself and consider another angle.
Why has it taken me so long to figure all this out?
This is probably the most difficult question, but looking back in regret only slows you down. The one thing I know above all else is that everyone’s journey is different. Embrace your path and don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. This isn’t easy, but it’s necessary to move forward. If you are ready now, then now is the right time for you. Go for it!
Is it worth it at this point in my life?
I don’t know. Is it? When you look back on your life, do you want to see that you went for it or is there something else you’d rather do? You have to decide how important this goal is to you. If you think it’s worth it, don’t let anyone tell you differently. Take charge of your own life, and decide if YOU are worth it.
If we stop focusing on that one dream that got away instead of thinking of our lives as a journey with many pit-stops and dreams and beautiful people along the way then, yeah, it’s easy to get stuck in the tar-filled pit of regret and bitterness. But the journey isn’t over until you can’t do anymore.
Keep going, keep trying, keep dreaming, and appreciate the little things along the way because, believe it or not, they are all taking you to the right place even if it seems like it’s taking a really long time.
When I feel like I should give up – a) I get a sick feeling in my stomach and b) I picture myself giving up an inch from the surface and drowning, not realizing that I was almost there.
What if you’re an inch from that dream, and you give up?
Keep going. Keep trying. Keep dreaming.
Because you might only have another inch to go.